The Open-Ended Question That Opens People Up

When asked authentically, this three-syllable question creates connectedness, trust and understanding with anyone, even a person you have just met.

Why do connectedness, trust and understanding matter?

Because empathy is an essential ingredient in the process of designing solutions for people.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

How can we understand how others are feeling unless we ask?

Asking the question unlocks the potential to observe problems that would otherwise go unobserved. This is a gold mine of understanding for solutions designers.

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"How's Your Day?"

So, I routinely ask this question of people because:

• It comes from a place inside of me that truly cares about people
• It informs my understanding of how people in the world around me are experiencing the world around me

​We exist in a world characterized by disconnectedness and distrust.

Consequently, introducing a countercultural question produces a measurable shift in the environment and it builds trust and connectedness.

One of my favorite contexts to ask the question is while getting things done on the phone, standing in line or chatting online.

In the past week I can recall asking the question of people in the following contexts:

• while waiting for a seat at a restaurant
• while interacting with a benefits coordinator for my health care company
• while chatting with a tech support staff member online
• while going through the check-out line at the grocery store
• while talking with relatives who live far away from me
• while transacting business over the phone

We exist in a world characterized by disconnectedness and distrust.

Consequently, introducing a countercultural question produces a measurable shift in the environment and it builds trust and connectedness.

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Try It and See

Understanding how people in the world are feeling is easy. Just ask them. They'll tell you. Listen to them and learn what problems they are experiencing. It will inform your design decisions.

When the woman you are talking with senses that you care enough about her to ask how her day is going, it breathes fresh life into the conversation, even if she is having a bad day. Somehow when you care enough to ask, it reaffirms her humanity and causes her to reflect on how she's feeling.

If we, as solutions designers, practice this kind of authentic caring, listening and learning on an ongoing basis, we tap into a limitless supply of priceless insight for free by simply exercising a common courtesy towards another person.

Your empathy for people and willingness to go there immensely affects your solution design.

- Chuck

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